What They Hide
by Lightismydark
Summary: Everything is perfectly fine... right ? Everyone is happy... Everything in the world is okay right ? A few smiles and laughs can hide so much. RATED T BECAUSE PARANOID WRITER AND LATER CHAPTERS !
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- basically ive been gone from fan fiction for a few months or so and havent updated any of my stories since July. And to my followers for that I am so sorry ! **

**But im back now ! YAY ! And I decided I was going to come back with a boom ! First I will be finishing Bakura's Torture secondly im starting this little piece here which shall be a collection of short oneshots one for each country. **

**Each chapter though short will focus on a single country and some rather umm depressing aspects for each one. Note: SOME MAY MAKE YOU CRY ! **

**And just so this isn't all just one long (not that long) Authors Note here's a sneak peak of what the first one shall be !**

They left. They all just left. And that's why now he couldn't be alone. He didn't want to be alone. Not anymore. Not left behind again.

But no one else would know. He would cling to them and say it was because they were "friends" and yes while that was true it was also because he couldn't stand the though of having no one there with him. Its one of the reasons he wouldn't sleep alone. He didn't want to be alone.

All he had to do was cover up his pain with a smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- Okay first up is Italy ! Now remember these fanfics are based off of numerous ideas and head cannons I've seen floating around the internet so there will be a number of things in one short fic. And yes they all will be reasonably short. And some may or may not be connecting I don't know.**

**Disclaimer- I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING ! THE ONLY THING BELONGING TO ME IS THE STORY IDEA. I DON'T OWN HETALIA AND DO NOT OWN (even if I wish I did) ANY ONE THE CHARACTERS ! **

**Now enjoy ~**

"Bye ! Arrivederci ! Ill see you guys later okay ?" Italy said cheerfully as his friends left his house. He waved them off as they left one by one till no one left was in his house. After they were all gone he shut the door behind him and sighed. Everyone was gone now.

He locked the door and closed the blinds before he walked to his bedroom slowly. Once the door to his bed room was closed he leaned against it then slid to the floor his smiled dropping off his face. They were gone. Why would he have to keep acting ?

Italy sighed sadly curling his knees to his chest. It was an act right all just an act. Each forced smile each happy vee that fell from his lips. But the other countries didn't need to know they'd never know. Italy may have been a country, immortal never able to die as long as he remained a country, but alone he felt nothing short of a broken human. Feliancio Vargass.

His eyes started to sting but he tried a little longer to hold his tears back. He struggled to put a smile back on his face. His lips shook as he forced the edge of his lips to turn upward. It faltered after three seconds before falling completely. A few tears escaped his eyes running down his cheeks.

No one knew. Because he could pretend for a bit that everything was fine. They thought he was okay and around them he was. He was happy around them. He had friends around him and that made him feel happy. Because he didn't feel alone.

But once they left that feeling came back.

What if they didn't come back? What If he they decided to leave him ?

Those thoughts currently swan through his head

They left. They all just left. And that's why now he couldn't be alone. He didn't want to be alone. Not anymore. Not left behind again.

It happened before.

But no one else would know. He would cling to them and say it was because they were "friends" and yes while that was true it was also because he couldn't stand the though of having no one there with him. Its one of the reasons he wouldn't sleep alone. He didn't want to be alone.

All he had to do was cover up his pain with a smile.

He would smile and try to forget. Even as he sat curled into himself sobbing he would try and forget. How long could memories last anyways ?

He felt like a human. So he tried to hid his pain like a human.

All he had to do was cover up his pain with a smile.

A/N- Yay ! One country down about 50+ more to go ! (Seriously how many countries are in Hetalia ? I want to do one for each !) Sorry for the sad but all of these will be sad. If you didn't get that message from the preview then that is your own fault.

Anywho ! What did you think ? If you'd ever be so kind please leave a review. Next is Romano !


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- Basically the point of these things are going to be to make you be overwhelmed with feels if possible. Yep I'm that type of writer. I shall make you cry.**

**For this chapter now I bring to you… Romano ! **

**Disclaimer- I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING ! THE ONLY THING BELONGING TO ME IS THE STORY IDEA. I DON'T OWN HETALIA AND DO NOT OWN (even if I wish I did) ANY ONE THE CHARACTERS ! **

Romano sat alone in his room. The blinds were closed shut, the doors were locked. No one would be getting in. And that was the point. Romano didn't want anyone to come in he wanted no one to see him like _this. _

Sad was an understatement, scared didn't cover it either. He was petrified.

He had heard of other countries fading before. Or parts of other countries at the least. He heard how once they weren't needed anymore they just disappeared. Gone without a trace. Like so many of the ancients who only lived on through their children and memories.

But Romano didn't think that'd be the case for him. He was just the south half of Italy. And with the two halves being united there wouldn't be a need for him would there. Some may have asked him why he thought that… the answer was simple to him though.

Everyone loved his brother more. Hell even he did at times. That's why he was so sure he'd be the one to go.

Romano curled up tighter into himself a few stubborn tears escaping his eyes. No one could see him like this. Especially not his brother or Spain. He was sure those would be the only ones to really miss him. Everyone else wouldn't care would they ?

More tears.

"_Damn it stop crying !" _Romano thought angrily to himself wiping away his tears with the back of his hand only for more to appear. He hated having to act all tough. He didn't want anyone to know on the inside how terrified he was, hell he wouldn't even admit it to himself most of the time. Most of the times it would work others… not so much.

Romano let out a shuddery sigh. _"Why cant I be better at something ?" _he thought glumly to himself. This is what he did. When he was down he hated on himself, no one knew about it. He could point out everything wrong with himself for an hour before he'd feel to bad to continue. The pattern would repeat for awhile before he would scream angrily at the empty air.

Sometimes if Spain was home he'd knock on the door to check on Romano but the Italian would simply yell at him to leave him alone. Eventually it would work. A few times his voice cracked. Never had Spain found out though. Romano would hid his tears and plaster on a scowl and pretend to be how he always was.

He'd never show the world that he was scared, lonely, and sad. Because he would just fade right ?

**A/N- Have I made you sad yet ? Yes ? No ? Cupcakes ? **

**EN-EE-HOW… Please drop a review if you'd ever be so kind. I take criticism pretty well anyhow so don't be afraid to be honest ! And also comment on which country you'd like to see next ? **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N- Okay so next in this series is Germany ! My reason because A. I wanted to write Germany next and B. because today is October 3rd meaning its Germanys birthday ! Yay ! **

**So here ya go ! In Honor of Germany I give you what he hides~**

Glass was smashed, a wall had holes in it, blood was smeared on what were once pristine white clean sheets. The normally tidy room was a disaster like a tornado had swept through. Important papers that were normally signed and finished left on the table were still unfinished and strewn across the floor. Broken objects littered the floor some smashed beyond being recognizable as to what they once were. The blinds were closed and the house eerily silent.

In the corner of the room sat a blonde who's blue eyes were bloodshot from crying for hours. His normally slicked back hair was disheveled and hang in his face. His right arm had blood on it from where is was cut as glass has hit it as the glass shatter through the air. He had his knees pulled to his chest a sat silently and tears rolled down his face, his voice to hoarse from screaming already.

He hated himself. He truly did.

He knew people didn't like to be around him. He was to strict right ? To intimidating and stern. But that's just how he was raised. He was raised to be tough to be strong. He was trained to be a good soldier and follow orders.

Following every order made him a bad man.

He hated the amount of people that had died because of him. The countless bodies that he had seen pile up, lifeless and cold. The people against the fences their faces desolated and ready to face even death at this point anything but the hell they went through. He could remember the smell of burning flesh that would permeate the air for days or longer. The ash blowing in the wind.

He was always blamed.

But he had no choice. He was a good soldier. He'd follow any order given by a superior without hesitation. It was his duty and he had no choice. Even when his boss was a cruel man. He'd would do as told without a second thought. The blood on his hands a grim reminder. He was a good soldier.

He never had friends. He was alone. Confused to even someone as cheerful as Italy would want to be around him. "He just wants someone as protection" He though sullenly to himself. He refused to believe Italy actually wanted to be friends with him. That anyone would. Who wanted to be friends with someone so strict ? Or worse someone who's causes millions there lives ?

He punched the wall again ignoring the stabbing pain in his arm and hand. He was a country he'd heal fast. No need to worry about his injuries or death right ? Besides no one would find him for hours and by then all his emotion would have been spilled out and he would have gone back to "normal".

Germany was strict and a good soldier.

That's all anyone would ever know.

**A/N- Gott even I got kind of sad when writing this one ._. Whelp hope you enjoyed it at least !**

**Also I've gotten a request to do Norway and I promise I WILL get to him. But I have 2 reasons for not getting to certain characters right away. First off I want to have a flow of the characters sort to speak. Basically meaning ill write characters easily associate with each other first. Which is the reason I wrote Italy first then Romano this chapter as Germany then Prussia then Japan etc. Do you see what I mean ? or am I being to confusing ? Basically speaking ill do Norway when I get to the Nordics. And my seconds reason for not doing certain characters quicker some character I still don't know enough about yet. **

**Besides that please review on what you think because reviews are like a drug to me that I refuse to give up plus reviews keep me motivated to write more. If not I kind of get bored and feel nervous about updating. **

**Anyways till next time ! **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N- Honestly I was planning to update sooner but … lazy ? Lazy writer shall be lazy. Plus ive been Rping to much ._. And school ! Gahh well dat ish besides the point I am here now to bring you this new chapter and hopefully bring you to tears…or at least damage your feels. Either way ill try.**

**DISCLAIMER- Do I own Hetalia ? No. No I don't. If I did… ahem. Lets not think about that. **

The day was average. The weather surprisingly nice for what normally would be a chilly fall afternoon, not that anyone was complaining though. With the sun high in the sky and the day feeling so great many people decided to go to the park and enjoy the day. That's exactly what one solitary Prussian decided to do.

He had on jeans a black long sleeved coat and a grey scarf wrapped up to his nose. For most people it may have been to much for just the fall but for him it felt alright. He sat alone on the bench staring blankly at the scene of children playing around before him. He smiled slightly before it drop and he hunched over slightly, coughing hard into his hard the rasping sound coming from the back of his throat causing him to wince.

He straighten himself back up and sighed. He could feel it. Every day, every second it was getting closer to the inevitable. He could feel it every time he coughed harshly, every slight black out he had, every single mini seizure that became more frequent as the days went by. He knew he wasn't a country anymore, just Gilbert and he was no longer needed. He'd fade.

He wasn't sad though. Not at all. He grinned slightly whenever someone worried about him fading. He was to awesome to be upset about something like disappearing ! He had left a legacy behind and helped his younger grow up to be a strong nation that could survive on his own. He'd done an awesome job ! No one could forget him !

But … there was something that had bothered him. He didny care if he faded. But he'd fade alone.

He had friends sure. But who was really close to him.

No one.

He'd end up fading alone. He didn't want to though. He wish he could spend his last moments with someone he cared about. Maybe someone that loved him and wanted him to stay. It was a stupid idea but itd be nice to think… maybe someone would miss him.

He smiled sad and leaned his head back slightly his head feeling dizzy. He knew he didn't have much time left. A few weeks ? Maybe a few days ? Or even a night. It wouldn't make a difference.

He would disappear and everyone would forget about him. Just like other old nations that have faded he'd be forgotten even if he didn't want to be. How many people would remember though ? Maybe in a few hundred year people would hear of him again but he'd never be as remember as others.

The dizziness increased and he felt his hearing starting to fade along with black spots coating his eye sight. He laid down on the bench a sad smile still on his face. Everything was starting to get darker. He coughed again pulling his scarf up further on his face. His brother would find him later anyways just like last time so he didn't worry to much.

For now he just closed his eyes and let himself slip.

He'd fade eventually.

Alone.

**A/N- I know the idea of Prussia fading is an overused one but still - **

**Anywho im really tired I finished this early in the morning because inspiration and motivation hit me at the worst of the moments. But if I didn't do it now it would never be done ._. **

**And if you'd be nice leave me a review. You don't have to buuuutt… its nice :3 **

**Till next time ~ Au revoir !**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N- Tis that time where I is in the mood for updating this story. Or collection of what I hope to be sad one shots. Either way… IM BACK !**

**Now I know I said I was going to have an order to these things. Like originally I had planned next to do Japan, then Austria, them Hungary before moving onto the Allies. But honestly if I do it like that ill get bored and never update. So now I decided I'm just going to write whichever im in the mood for. **

**Right now would be America~**

**So here ya go~!**

**WARNING- TALK OF EATING DISORDERS. IF YOUR SENSITIVE TO THIS SUBJECT THEN PLEASE SKIP THIS CHAPTER!**

**DISCLAIMER- If I own Hetalia it would be a whole lot gayer.. Sooooo no I do not own it. **

In front of the bowl again. Hugging it and hoping not to much was gained. Any extra weight would be a shame after all his hard work to make sure he gained not one. It was just routine now though. Get up, check the scale, shove whatever he could down his throat making himself retch until he heaved whatever was in his stomach, then off to the scale again. It was just routine.

A lot of people never would have guessed though. He was America and he was always eating. Constantly with a burger or shake in his hand. Sometimes instead ice cream or fries. Either way the point was he was always eating none of the other nations would guess that every day whatever he ate would come out first chance he was alone in front of a toilet.

Sure America had one of the highest obesity rates but not a lot of people saw the flipped side of it, he also had the highest rate for eating disorders. And that was reflected in him.

America hung his head over the toilet reaching his finger into the back of his throat farther and farther until he gagged and started coughing roughly his throat muscle clenching around his fingers. But he didn't pull his fingers out and continued till he felt the first wave of vomit rise up coating his fingers. He pulled his fingers from his mouth before he could dirty them even more and emptied out his stomach.

Once he was done he stood up weakly on shaky legs a mixture of vomit and drool covering his mouth, his face flushed with and undertone of a sickly yellow color. He looked at himself in the bathroom mirror and felt worse. His stomach felt hallow now but when he looked in the mirror it looked the same to him.

He whimpered slightly and looked away sitting down against a wall holding back tears. _"I try … I try so hard…" _America thought to himself closing his eyes tightly.

He tried hard to please others. To get other to like him. He smiled and always acted happy. He tried to help everyone if he could even if it wasn't his place. Maybe that's why some people found him annoying.

He knew not everyone liked him. A lot of people thought he was loud and annoying some people assumed he was stupid or self center. And honestly those comments hurt. He didn't want to be so annoying he just couldn't help doing silly things sometimes.

America sighed quietly to himself and wiped his teary eyes with his clean hand. He had a world meeting to get back to. He stood up shakily and cleaned himself up wiping his mouth and cleaning his hand. He flashed a quick smile at himself in the mirror.

He was hurting and he couldn't help himself… But that doesn't mean he couldn't be the hero for others !

**A/N- Honestly just was graving some mildly angsty America. So I wrote it ! **

**What did yall think ? And who do you want to see next ?**

**My next one will be one of the other allies most likely but I cant decide which one… Anyone want one in specific ? Tell me if ya do ! **

**Anyway… Bye till next time ! **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N- Ciao ! Well inspiration hits when it hits right ? And right now it has hit at 10 at night and even though I normally fall asleep at midnight today I'm tired for no reason but this idea just came and I need to write it while fresh in my mind ! This is what I get for reading Tumblr this late.**

**Anywho ! Here you guys go your next feel filled chapter and this time it is Russia. **

**WARNING- SENSATIVE SUB JECT AHEAD MAY BE TRIGGERING ! PROCEED WITH CAUITON !**

**DIS-FRUCKING-CLAIMER: YEAH I OWN HETALIA. IM ALSO YOUR GOD. BRING ME YOUR VIRGINS ! -_- Note the extreme sarcasm !**

The cold wind nipped at his face making him shiver slightly and pull up his scarf further up so it covered his nose. Normally it could not bother him but lately the cold seemed to get more and more bitter and the white snow grew denser on the ground coating the entire area, making it seem all the same nondescript color.

He walked alone silently shivering as he trudged through the waist deep snow that he sunk in every now and then. Some would call him stupid for walking through the snow alone and in the middle of nowhere but he needed this. He needed the time to be alone and away from everyone. Alone so he could think.

The harsh wind blew making the falling snow practically a wall that he pushed through slowly ignoring how his body grew numb to it eventually. He was used to it all. The cold, the harshness, the loneliness.

He may have went out to be alone but he hated it. He alone decided to be alone as his own choice because it was better than to know that he was also alone whether he wanted to be or not. He knew no one liked to be around him. People were afraid of him and he knew that they had every right to be.

He tried to be kind to others but he didn't understand how. He grew up under some cruel ruler and though all of them weren't bad many of them were. He grew up used to seeing violence, death was just another everyday event, blood was just red, hearing voices was okay, and cruelty was accepted. Life was bleak and dark.

Now that those times were over though he had a hard time knowing what was right, what was acceptable. He kept making mistakes and hurting others. He never really meant to, most times he was actually trying to help but he always scared others away.

So he was alone. Even in a room full of people he would feel alone because he knew none of them there liked him and some only tolerated him out of fear.

Sometimes the loneliness became to much. He couldn't always take it, the loneliness, the empty feeling, the breakdowns, the remarks he heard other countries say at times their words of how cruel they thought he was…It became to much.

He tried to count them. The times he tried to take his life. There was so many to count. In his entire existence there was to many attempts. Even when he knew they would be futile. He was a country and was cursed with the fact that he could not, even if he wished to, die.

His neck had the most proof if this. Scars layered upon scarred whether it was from a blade or burns from a rope that never succeeded. His neck was crisscrossed his details of each failure. Some seemed like they would never heal still red and some even painful to touch.

His neck was always covered for this reason, if not with his scarf then with something. He didn't want to let the other nations know that his mentality wasn't just cracked but he was broken. He could pull of a façade of being a big strong nation at least in front of them.

And then he could be alone.

Some would say he would drown his problem away in his vodka, but even if he tried it would never seemed to work. His problems knew how to swim.

So now he stood at the tops of a bride over a rushing river with a temperature that dipped much below zero. He held on to the railing tightly his knuckles turning white and hurting from the cold. He knew it wouldn't work. He might black out for a while but he'd just wake up washed up on the riverbank feeling frozen to the bone. But at least the time spent blacked out would be a break even for awhile.

So he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

Then jumped into the merciful water below.

**A/N- Mah feels hurt just thinking about a sad Russia. Like legit I hate how a lot of people make him out to be some kind of cruel monster. I feel like he's just misunderstood and honestly I love him so much and just kinda wanna hug him and yeah…**

**Okay anyways I got this idea after reading a text post on Tumblr asking has anyone noticed Russia ALWAYS has something covering his neck, and then my brain got thinking and then the rest of this idea came along with it and this is what happens when my brain starts working !**

**Well please review and suggest who you would like to see or next ill do just whoever my brain think if more depressing things for. **

**Till then buh-bye !**


End file.
